Bitch ate my Oakleys (Again)

The beeyatch ate my Oakleys. 3rd pair. This is an expensive dog. Doesn't go for the kids $20 surfer sunglasses or the Wife's Oakleys. No, she likes to pay me special attention. Does she look remorseful? No, she's just tired from all the swimming she did the past two days.
To top off the taste of plastic, she then ate four scoops of infinit, 2 gu's and some salt tablets that I had on the counter (way back on the counter) for my saturday ride. Time to break out the shock collar. "Lola, NO." Shock. "Lola, NOOOO." Shock. She'll never learn. Shock. Shock. Shock. My finger hurts from pressing the shock button. Time to turn up level. Just kidding. Maybe just a few corrective disciplinary actions...